Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
