I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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