The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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