you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
