I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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