Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
