God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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