Quick, to the slutcave!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
