Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
