i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
