i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
