i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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