Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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