Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
