There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
