I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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