why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
