Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
