names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
