So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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