Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
