I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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