Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
