the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
