You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
