I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
