Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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