Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
