Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
