so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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