Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
