ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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