Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
