I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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