I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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