can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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