if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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