Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is wine microwaveable?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
