I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
