i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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