Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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