:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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