I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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