You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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