i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
