Dual....:-)
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
