walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
