I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
