it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
