he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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