did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
